"For my thoughts are not your thoughts..."

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what i desire and achieve the purpose for which i sent it." -Isaiah 55:8-11.

TUESDAY, APRIL 3, 2012 11:52 AM, CDT

important update

I must admit – I’m not sure how to say all of this…

I’m not sure how to say how mighty and loving our God is… how he is wrapping his arms around us.

I’m not sure how to say that he has answered our prayers – the ones that we barely dared to utter…

Thy will be done.

We knew God would reveal himself in this ordeal.  We knew it.  We just didn’t know WHAT he would reveal about himself… his healing power?  His gracious love?  His peace that passes understanding?

He is revealing himself to be a loving father – who comforts those who mourn – who is near to those who suffer.  Who is tender with those who are broken-hearted.

Matt’s body has suffered too much.  Jesus is calling him home.  This afternoon they will shift his care in a different direction – to comfort and rest.

Pray for Harper today – she gets to see her Daddy – pray that she would not be frightened by tubes and beeps, but would see only his loving face. 

Pray for Molly – courage and strength to endure the unimaginable this day… for rest when rest comes.

Pray for Brian, Vicki and Mark (and their families).  Treasured, quiet moments with Matt.

Pray for Molly’s family – they are an invaluable support to Molly and Harper and will need strength in the days ahead.

Pray for Matt’s care-giving team today – Dr. Husmann, Dr. Porter-Williamson, Lauren, Bryan, Becca and Ashley.  We are missing some names, but the team has been great and will need strength and wisdom today.

Pray for us all to hold Matt with open hands today – hands raised in grief and thanksgiving, confusion and hope, in trust and expectancy.

We will continue to keep you updated today.  There will again be a prayer service in the Spencer Chapel at 4pm on the campus HERE.  Please come if you need/want to, or pray from wherever you are…

Obviously there will be needs and support requested – we will let you know about those as they come up.

Thank you – for the outpouring of faith, prayer, love and service.  God revealed in the body of Christ.

Pray for the Nagels

Please pray for our friends Matt and Molly Nagel, below are the post from their Caringbridge website. Molly is Matt's wife and Harper is their 5 year daughter...
you can keep updated on Matt's progress at:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kcmattnagel

Thankful for Jesus and the hope and life that He brings. Praying for His MERCY to reign over this family tonight. Please pray with us.

SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 2012 5:27 PM, CDT

• day one

  Thank you for all your calls, prayers, texts and emails on Matt's behalf. It has been quite a day...

  Matt was running this morning with some buddies and began to show signs that something was wrong - basically (in his words) his legs stopped working. They thought it was heat exhaustion, but weren't sure. He was rushed to KU Med and after batteries of tests and scans, they realized that he was indeed suffering a stroke. A big one.

  He was given "stroke busting" meds and, after reassuring hugs and words with Molly, was taken into surgery at about 2 p.m. Their goal was to pull out the clot that was blocking blood flow to the right side of his brain. It was deemed risky but necessary. The doctor used the words "heroic measure."

  The surgery was deemed successful - so much is unknown still - but the arteries are open. They are scanning, waiting, watching.

  **Matt has just given thumbs up and squeezed Molly's hand and wiggled his toes - all such good signs.***

  Pray for Matt. Pray that the swelling would be minimal and that there would be no more stroke activity. Pray for wisdom and discernment for his care team.

  Pray for Molly. Pray for strength and wisdom in decision-making for Matt's care.

  Please feel free to forward this site to friends who can be in prayer...

  For inquiries on how to care for Matt & Molly (and Harper) please email jay.lavergne@gmail.com. Meals, gift cards for food or gas, lawn mowing... whatever you'd like to share - will be greatly appreciated. It would be great at this time to utilize this site for updates and not bombard the family as they deal with the immediate crisis.

  Thank you SO much!

• SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 2012 6:38 PM, CDT

  update

  matt is having an MRI right now - which will tell us 2 critical things...
  
  1.  The amount of swelling - and whether another surgery is necessary to allieviate it.
  2.  The extent and location of the damage...
  
  please pray for a clear scan and for limited swelling, for strong hearts and clear minds.
  
  

• SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 2012 8:47 PM, CDT

  update 2

  MRI results and other signs (decreased heart rate) are showing that Matt needs to go back into surgery.  The craniectomy will allow the swelling somewhere to go, which is important as the swelling usually peaks at about 3 days.  They may put in a shunt/bolt to help as well.

  The MRI did show the area that is affected, but it is difficult to tell at this point what sort of deficit(s) there will be. 

  Matt is still under sedation, so it should be a quick transition to the procedure.  A fresh shift of staff has come in here at the hospital - pray for their tender care of Matt and skilled hands in surgery.

  Pray for rest (somehow) for Molly and family tonight and wisdom.  Peace that passes understanding, and comfort.  Molly is feeling the fatigue of a long, long day.  Pray that Harper sleeps well tonight at home with Grandma.

  SUNDAY, APRIL 1, 2012 10:32 PM, CDT

  update 3

  URGENT REQUEST FOR PRAYER.

  Matt's craniectomy has gone smoothly, but the dr does NOT like what he sees where the swelling is concerned...  the whole right hemisphere is just very swollen.  This is urgent - this is pressing - pray for the swelling to go down.

  Pray for Molly & fam, for Brian and Vicki - for Matt's life to be spared.  Pray for the surgeons, for the shunts and bolts/drains to be effective. 

  Pray that we all would be aware of God's arms around us and the Nagels in this frightening time.

Intimacy

Intimacy- noun-a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person. 

I had gone back and forth about lent. Trying to decide whether or not I should engage in it this season. I've...participated...er....practiced...er...i never know what to call it, but I've done it, I've done lent before. I've given something up for 40 days, sometimes just to practice discipline, which is a great thing to practice, other times just to "see if I could do it." But I didn't want to give something up just to do it...and there wasn't really anything that was blaring in my face that I felt particularly convicted to give up this year, so I had kind of disregarded it.

However, through a couple of perfectly placed speed bumps, or kairos moments (you can read about what a kairos moment is here.) it became painfully obvious to me what God wanted from me...and what I wanted from Him, this, and every season.

Intimacy. 

For the past couple of weeks I’ve felt extremely off balance. I've known something in my rhythm of life wasn't quite right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I felt more irritable than normal, like my fuse was extremely short. I've felt physically tired, and emotionally drained. I knew I wasn't resting as much as I should...I’ve been over-booking my days as i tend to do, and I've know that my time with Jesus has been lacking big time, but ya know how those things go...it ebbs and flows...sometimes your on a mountain top, other times in a valley...well...welcome to the valley folks...but don't get too comfortable.

So here's my kairos...my chance to stop in my tracks, listen to what Jesus is teaching me, and respond: 

I have been in desperate need for intimacy, because I’m currently not experience intimacy with Jesus. 

There. I said it.

I have been frantically looking to all sorts of ridiculous things to fulfill my deep desire and need for intimacy...a desire that, well of course, only Jesus can fill.... whatever that means.... right?

It's been playing out in my life in all kinds of ways...most of which I was completely unaware of until the last 24 hours. Whether it is found in something as simple as a song, or a music video, a TV show, a book, a friendship, or even ice cream for cryin' out loud...I've been grabbing at anything that would promise even just a minuet of intimacy, no matter how unrealistic or unfulfilling. 

We were designed for intimacy with our Abba. 

We read about it all over the bible, people who were experiencing true, undeniable intimacy with the One who formed and created them...and I want it.

Psalm 63:1-8 when David is in the wilderness of Judah he cries out,

"O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how i praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand hold me securely."

uh. wow.

My soul thirst for you....my whole body longs for you...you satisfy me more than the richest feast...Intimacy y'all. 

So, for the next 40 days, I'm going to "give up" all the things that i look for intimacy in...And REPLACE them with seeking intimacy with Jesus. It will probably look different for me everyday, and the battle will probably be a new one everyday, because that's how the enemy works, when I catch on to one thing he's been sneaking, he switches up his game and tries something else...it may mean no dessert one night, as I’m looking for some bizarre comfort in what sweet thing I put in my mouth. It may mean no FRIENDS episodes for a few days, as I escape into an alternate reality with no jobs, no consequences and constant hilarity and company. It may mean no facebook, it may mean re-routing my thoughts or day dreams...but what it will most definitely mean, every day, is time spent thinking about Jesus and all he's done for me, how he's rescued me from the pit and asking him to do it again every day. It will mean more time spent in prayer. It will mean more time spent with my husband, as i believe Jesus is calling me to continue to pursue and fight for intimacy with the one he has given me for the rest of my time on this earth.

So there you have it. I'm fighting for intimacy with Jesus.

And it will change me. 

And I can't wait.